If your boyfriend has unrealistic expectations about you or the relationship there is no way you will be happy in that relationship.
This is because our expectations are the things that drive our happiness and tranquillity.
If you won’t make it clear to your boyfriend that what he expects from you or the relationship is impossible to be achieved you will never be able to make this relationship successful.
Unrealistic expectations are things that are impossible to be achieved yet people work hard and are optimistic about achieving them. They put so much pressure into everything to achieve these things thinking it’s possible for them but they are only exhausting themselves and the people around them.
So, if your boyfriend has unrealistic expectations of either you or the relationship at large then know that he is exhausting you.
He is putting you under pressure and if you won’t do anything about it then you will end up breaking into pieces.
In this article, I will share with you what you can do about this situation.
Without further ado, let me get into this topic.
What to do when your boyfriend has unrealistic expectations;
1. Understand why he has those expectations.
If your boyfriend has unrealistic expectations about you or the relationship the first thing you should do is to make sure you understand why he has those expectations.
When you understand why he has such kinds of unrealistic expectations then you will be able to work this issue out.
Without understanding why he has those expectations there is no way you will help him out and this means your relationship will be in danger.
The only way you can get to understand his expectations is to be in his shoes for once.
You will have to find out if the expectations he has of the relationship or you are possible to be achieved or not.
The expectations he may be having may be achievable to him and that is why he is sticking to them.
And if you go hard on him and start telling him that what he expects to achieve from the relationship or you is impossible then you will be on the wrong side of things.
This will prevent him from listening to you because he is aware that you are already disagreeing with him about his expectations.
So, take your time to listen to him and get to understand why he has those expectations.
Make him open up to you and let him tell you why he expects such kinds of things from you or the relationship at large.
Filter out what you know is impossible for him to achieve and write down the realistic expectations he has.
But if all his expectations are unrealistic then you won’t have to write down the realist expectations because they don’t exist.
Once you understand why he has those kinds of expectations it’s time for you to follow the second step.
2. Talk to him about his expectations.
You are aware that what he is expecting from you or the relationship is unrealistic, he doesn’t know that yet.
Since you have a clear understanding of why he is expecting such kinds of things from you then you will have the right angle to talk about this issue with him.
Let me pick an example of unrealistic expectations and use it in this section of the article.
For instance, your boyfriend expects you to be married within 6 months and yet it’s when you have started dating and deep down you know this is something impossible then you will have to talk to him about it.
Anyway, do you think it’s possible to get married after you have been dating for 6 months?
Let me know in the comment section.
When your boyfriend has this kind of expectation you know why he is expecting such kind of thing to happen.
Your boyfriend is super excited to be with you, he doesn’t think if there will be challenges along, he doesn’t think that you will need time to know each other and also he doesn’t think that moving a relationship fast will result in its a failure.
These are some of the things you can understand when your boyfriend has such kind of unrealistic expectations.
Since you have a clear understanding of this, don’t go directly telling him that what he is expecting from you or the relationship is impossible.
When you do this, you will never get along with each other. And this will make it harder for you to talk him out of this.
The first thing you have to do is to list the facts to him and try to reason with him as you continue talking to him.
Point out a clear point about the unrealistic expectation he has and ask him what he thinks about it.
Here is an example of how you can do this,
You: Do you know that it will take time for us to know each other better?
Him: Yes, I do.
You: It takes time for people to be comfortable to stay with each other without any friction.
Him: Yeah, that is true.
You: Can you meet someone today and marry them the next day?
Him: No! that is impossible.
You: It’s the same thing you expect from us you know.
This is how you have to point out every single fact and detail about the unrealistic expectation he has and let him give you his answer.
This will be the easiest way for you to convince him that what he is expecting to achieve from you or the relationship is impossible.
3. Bring him to the reality of his expectations.
After you have talked to him about his unrealistic expectations it’s time for you to bring him to the reality of his expectations.
Do you remember the part where I told you to write down the realistic part of his expectations?
This is now the part you will need to be talking about with him.
Show him the side of things that he can achieve as you try to bury the unrealistic side of things by filling him with facts about what he is expecting from you or the relationship.
Try to show him the things that he can expect and achieve from you and the relationship.
Let him know why you think he can achieve certain things while others will be impossible to him.
By doing this you will be giving him a clear path to follow and his expectations will change from being unrealistic to realistic.
If everything he told you about is unrealistic then you will have to start an afresh page with him.
A fresh page of the related expectations that were unrealistic. And this means you will have to talk to him about what he should expect from you or the relationship.
This will give him a clear picture of what he should be hoping to achieve from you or the relationship.
It’s kinda hard but it’s worth the shot.
4. Take it easy on him to adjust his expectations.
You have to know that these unrealistic expectations that he has will never change within a day.
It may take time for your boyfriend to adjust his expectations.
So, you will have to be patient as you try to show him the reality side of things.
When you do all these things I have shared with you in this article, it doesn’t mean that his expectations will change in an instant.
It will take time for him to change from A to B.
As you give him time to change his expectations you will have to continue bringing him to the reality side of things if you want him to change the things that were programmed in his brain.
The more you continue showing him the things he can achieve and those things that he can’t this will give him a clear picture of what he should expect from you or the relationship and the life at large.
If your boyfriend has unrealistic expectations there will be an unhappy ending in that relationship.
This is because if he expected something from you or the relationship and deep down you know he can’t achieve it once he fails to achieve it and you never showed him that he couldn’t achieve then this will ruin your relationship.
Your boyfriend will find you to be incompetent, he will find you to be irresponsible and things between the two of you will be messy.
When a guy can’t achieve what he expects in a relationship it will be very hard for him to be happy around you.
So, you should do something about the unrealistic expectations he has before your relationship falls apart
Thanks so much for reading, let me know if this is helpful to you. If you have any questions leave your comment.
See you in my next article.
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